How To Discuss An Undiagnosed Neurodivergence With Your Manager
Having open and honest conversations with your manager about your unique needs and abilities is not easy, especially if you have an undiagnosed neurodivergence. Even if you don’t have a formal diagnosis of a neurodivergence, it's still crucial to communicate effectively with your manager to ensure that you receive the support and accommodations you need to thrive in your job.
In this article, we outline how to discuss support and accommodations you might need to be successful at work as a neurodivergent employee.
Understanding Neurodivergence
Before telling your manager you are neurodiverse, it's important to have a clear understanding of neurodivergence and how you want to talk about yourself and your needs. Neurodivergence encompasses a wide range of neurological variations, including ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and more so it is helpful to understand your own situation a little deeper so you can more clearly advocate for your needs.
Self-Assessment and Reflection
Begin by reflecting on your own experiences and challenges in the workplace. Consider whether you've encountered situations where your work style or communication preferences differ from those of your colleagues and consider how those differences might be indicative of a neurodivergence. Keep a journal to document specific instances or patterns of behavior that you believe are relevant to the discussion, so you have clear, concise examples to pull from when discussing challenges with your manager.
Choosing the Right Time and Place
Selecting the appropriate time and setting for this conversation is important as you don’t want it to get lost in your daily one to ones. This is a unique conversation and deserves its own time and space. Request a private meeting with your manager, ideally outside of a busy work period to ensure both you and your manager can focus on the discussion without distractions.
This doesn’t need to be massively formal though, you can ask for a coffee chat outside the office or even go for a walking meeting. The point is to make you feel comfortable enough to say what you need to say.
Opening the Conversation
When beginning the conversation, I also find it best to be honest and straightforward. When I disclose my ADHD status to my managers, I start by expressing my desire to be successful in the role, to grow my skills and abilities and to collaborate with my team authentically. As someone with ADHD, communication is hard for me, so I am mindful of that in my working relationships. You might start with something like this:
"Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I value my role on the team and am committed to contributing as effectively as possible. Recently, I've been reflecting on my work style and communication, and I believe there may be a reason for some of the challenges I've encountered."
Explain Your Perspective
This is where it is definitely helpful to have some self-awareness of your strengths and growth opportunities, aka weaknesses. When you share your self-assessment and observations with your manager, focus on being specific about the challenges you've faced and how you believe they may relate to a neurodivergence. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory or confrontational. For instance:
"I've noticed that I sometimes struggle with maintaining focus on tasks for extended periods. It can be challenging for me to filter out background noise, which affects my concentration."
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Request Support and Accommodations
After discussing your perspective, communicate your needs and the accommodations that would be beneficial to you. Be prepared to suggest potential solutions. For instance:
"I believe that if I had access to noise-canceling headphones, it would greatly improve my ability to concentrate. Additionally, I'd like to explore time management strategies that can help me stay organized and on track."
If you’re looking for typical job accommodations, check out Ask Jan (the Job Accommodation Network).
Highlight Your Strengths
Part of the cool thing about being neurodivergent is that we have strengths neurotypicals do not. So, when you have your chat with your manager about challenges or barriers to success, don't forget to emphasize your strengths and the unique skills you bring to the table too. Neurodivergent individuals often possess valuable qualities such as attention to detail, creativity, and problem-solving abilities- consider if these are some of your strengths and how you can use them in your job. Here is an example:
"I want to stress that my neurodivergence also comes with strengths, such as my ability to think outside the box and see solutions others might miss. I'm committed to leveraging these strengths for the benefit of our team and the organization."
Collaborate on a Plan
Once you’ve had your conversation with your manager, your next step is to create a professional development plan- together! Work together with your manager to create a plan that outlines the accommodations and support you'll receive. It’s important to be flexible and open to suggestions from your manager, as they may have experience in managing diverse teams, while also ensuring you get what you need.
Follow-Up and Feedback
Lastly, after implementing accommodations, schedule follow-up meetings with your manager to evaluate their effectiveness. This is a process/journey, not an end destination and you may need to go back to the drawing board a few times- that’s ok! As long as you continue to communicate openly and provide feedback to ensure that your needs are being met, that will eventually get you where you need to be and help develop a really strong working relationship with your manager.
Related:
How To Clean Up Your Daily Routine To Prepare for Career Success
The Importance Of Clear Communication With Neurodivergent Workers
Meet The Writer!
Hi! My name is Nadia Ibrahim-Taney and I help people design happy and fulfilling careers through authentic career coaching. My expertise includes career exploration guidance, resume writing, interview prep and LinkedIn profile optimization. My pronouns are She/ Her/ Hers and as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I focus on how diverse identities impact and influence folks holistically and professionally. Please connect with me on LinkedIn or at Nadia@beyonddiscoverycoaching.com
